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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, sleep next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
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Women take clothing much more seriously than men do. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed; get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo."
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Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.
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If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.
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When four or more men get together, they talk about sports. When four or more women get together, they talk about men.
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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beer belly.
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Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.
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Most women are introspective: "Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?" Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?"
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If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't forget...he didn't lose your number...he didn't die. He just didn't want to call you.
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Men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight should do it out of sight of women.
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Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. "Get out" and "I never want to see you again" might sound like a challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, "I love you...I want to marry you...I want to have your children." Sometimes they leave skid marks.
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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with superheroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
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Men forget everything. Women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened.
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
